So Tired

I am so tired I want to die. Literally. My eyes are burning, my head hurts, I feel weak  & loopy. I think if I could get a full night’s sleep like a normal person, I’d be better, but it just ain’t happening. Even when I go to bed at a reasonable hour, I’m awakened every couple hours by Whiny William. Last night I think I got 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep – the rest of the night he woke me up every hour or less. So I begin to panic that I’LL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN, OH MY GOD. There are a lot of things I can handle as a mom. Vomit, exploding diapers, colds with drippy noses, rudeness – it’s all good.  I can handle it all with a minimum of fuss. But lack of sleep is my kryptonite. I will holler “surrender” very, very quickly on that one. So you add up the work preparing for this garage sale, the lifting, hauling, planning, pricing & all that and I’m already super tired. Then add lack of sleep and I get snipey, snappish, nasty, impatient, homicidal & very, very punchy. Which is how I feel today. It all really peeves me because we are supposed to go to Six Flags tomorrow for the Special Olympics Young Athletes demonstration day so Henry can participate. We got free tickets & everything. However, right now I cannot think of anything I’d rather do less. The thought of driving there makes my eyes itch. The thought of walking through all those people makes me wicked punchy. Even the thought of riding rides makes me want to throw myself on the floor and have a tantrum. On the other hand, I promised Maggie & Steven we were going. So I’ll have to deal with the hate, attitude, disappointment and whining if we don’t go. Plus Steven melting down and telling me that I PROMISED and it’s not fair and I LIED TO HIM. It’s all so, so wrong. And not fair to Mommy. Maybe I’ll die of tired and then it will all end. You think?

On a different note, I read that Will Forte is leaving SNL. And I am upset.

Digression: Dear Garage Shopper Lady. Just because you’re out garage saleing doesn’t mean the rules of the road no longer apply. You cannot just randomly leave your car willy-nilly in the street to get out & shop. And do not park in front of my driveway. Thank you.

Anyway. Will Forte. I am really upset that he’s leaving. He is the only person on that show who consistently makes me laugh. The little songs he does on Update, the super-odd characters he does (like Hamilton) – it all totally makes me crack up. I mean, go to this link, look at this & tell me it’s not totally pee-your-pants hysterical.

If you don’t think that’s hysterical, I don’t want to know you. Seriously. And while I’m tired of Kristen Wiig, the music series they do as Clancey T. Bachleratt & Jackie Snad with horrifying songs about toddlers, spaceships, Model T cars & jars of beer is absolutely brilliant. I’m going to miss him & unless Jason Isaacs joins the SNL cast, I’m probably not going to be watching much. Except when Jane Lynch hosts. Because she’s awesome.

OMG. Jame Gumb is at my sale. I am absolutely terrified & if he says anything about lotion or a basket, I’m screaming. I’m just sayin’. Okay. He bought a cassette tape, a hat & some shelves & then told me about how he has to save that $3.00 for gas cuz he can only put premium in the tank of his junky car since it has a supercharger & he likes to go fast, plus it gives him another 5 miles/gallon and eliminates the knocking noise. Wow. At least his wife will like the shelves. I tell ya, you meet all sorts of creepy people when you host a garage sale. Yesterday, I think there were two separate women who could be on Hoarders. Both of their cars were all junky & you could see the crap piled high inside. I mean, PILED HOLY CRAP HIGH. And they both came in and bought stuff that to 90% of the public would be considered garbage. It was as if something was under 25¢, they needed it. That kind of stuff makes me sad. What makes me happy is when someone comes with little kids who see that we have some Thomas trains and they just LIGHT UP because they can get one or two because they’re only $1 instead of $12-15. A family came this morning with two little ones who each got pick out some stuff. The little man loaded up with a big T. Rex, 2 Thomas trains & a Thomas bridge. The girl got a pink stuffed poodle and a stuffed pig and they were both happy as clams. That kind of thing makes me very happy. Or families who obviously don’t have a lot of money and because we’re offering some really great things, they’re able to get stuff they wouldn’t normally be able to have. That rocks.

Yesterday, I had a woman from a local counseling & advocacy group who works through the county with domestic violence victims & other traumatic family events. She bought a couple things and then told me that they can take almost everything we have left for donation to their 501C(3) charity and it first goes to their clients if they want it or they have their own rummage sale to benefit the charity. I think everything that doesn’t sell is going to them. They even come & pick it up, so I don’t have to figure out how to pack it all up & drop it off somewhere. Plus, who can more use maternity clothes, baby clothes & women’s clothes (many of them totally new) than people in this situation? I will totally feel great about that. Maybe one little girl will even get an American Girl doll that hasn’t sold.

Okay. Lunchtime. 3 more hours & this garage sale is history. (Or herstory. See what I did there?)