Because my meltdowns could prove catastrophic.
I am incredibly stretched thin. I am too busy, doing too much, having too much asked of me. I feel like a really old piece of Silly Putty that’s been pulled too far and it’s just about to drift off into two hair-like ends.
It begins with spending 2 hours every morning in the car. We leave at 6:40am to get Steven to school at 7:15, William to school at 7:40, Maggie to school at 8 & Henry to school at 8:30. Tuesdays & Thursdays, Maggie has to be dropped off about 6:50 since she has Zero Hour Jazz Choir, then Steven at 7:15-7:20, William at 7:40 & Henry, again, at 8:30. After I drop Henry off, I run to the gym and have just enough time to do 45 minutes of workout before I have to run back and get William at 10:10am.
We then go home. Here’s where I can do some dishes, laundry and try to give William a nap. At 1:30, it’s time to get ready to go get Steven who’s done at 2:10. Then we race off to get Henry at 2:30. If Maggie has rehearsal, we go home & I go back to pick her up between 5:30 & 6pm. If she doesn’t, we pick up Maggie at 3:15 & I take her back up to rehearsal at 6:30 & pick her up at 9pm. Once we get home after school, Henry wants to eat, so I feed him. I try to get everyone settled & busy. I figure out dinner.
I am working on a project that I started about a month ago. It’s a scrapbooking thing and I’m only about halfway done. Every night, I try to get between 6-8 pages done between making dinner, doing laundry, getting kids ready for bed and going to bed before 10 because getting up at 6am is deadly.
Now, in addition to this, I’m supposed to come up with time to do required “volunteer hours” at Steven’s school. The different opportunities seem to be completely during school hours which is undoable for me with William being done with school at 10am. But, if I can’t figure out when or how to do it, I have to come up with $200 to “buy it out”. I understand the point of it and actually agree with the premise, I just don’t know how to figure it out for our family.
I also have other people asking me to do things, telling me I need to do things and I am SO FREAKING TIRED I feel like I might crumble to dust. In fact, I had a panic attack about it all this morning. I came downstairs, ready to go to the gym, to see the house just a total mess. Dishes left wherever people felt like dropping them, food left out on counters, food eaten and the packaging just left out rather than being recycled or thrown away. Trash dropped on the floor and ignored. Papers taken out of backpacks & just strewn about for me to take care of. Dishes not done. Garbage not taken out. Cheerios everywhere. And children giving me attitude when told to care for their own things. Not the time for that, actually, as Mom went all Joan Crawford on their behinds.
I get so tired of busting my hump to do for others and having no one do anything to pitch in – even when they know how much I have to do . Forgot your script? Mom will drop what she’s doing and bring it to you. Want to trade in your video games RIGHT NOW?? Mom will fit it in. Need to get an eyebrow wax or haircut? Mom will figure it out, take you and pay for it. Need to talk in detail about something only you understand? Mom will stop what she’s doing, try to listen & follow what you’re saying even though she wants to hammer icepicks into her eardrums. Have a lot of homework & doing your chores will mean staying up even later? Mom will do it without your even having to ask. But God forbid Mom should ask you to get out of bed at 10am to babysit your brother so she can go to the gym and do something she HATES for an hour to try to be more healthy. You are so put upon to be told to pick up the family room that’s littered with dishes, books, video disks & other crap that isn’t Mom’s. I am the meanest, worst, most hateful evil mother in the world.
Speaking of going to the gym, I am still on it. Almost 12 weeks now. While I’ve only lost about 10 pounds, I am noticing more toning. I’m able to do more and have increased the weight on many of the weight machines. I’ve learned what my cardio heart rate needs to be and I’m up to 30 minutes in that range and working toward 40. So that’s good. I’m keeping track of each workout on Instagram (posts to Facebook, Twitter & over on the left there), so I can see how I’m improving.
Okay. Enough complaining. Saw The Possession tonight. Pretty darn good. Scary, but not in a gory, torturey way. Just truly scary. I read an article about the movie in Entertainment Weekly a couple months ago and the story behind the movie intrigued me. Apparently, it’s a story that people claim actually happened to them, so that’s always creepy. And stuff about demons & Satan (not “Stan”, which I almost typed) always really scares the crap out of me.Tweet