Sad, Mournful Farewell

Saw Harry Potter. Twice. It RUINED me. I honestly cannot remember the last time I cried in a movie, but I spent most of the 2nd half of it with tears running down my face. I think they really nailed it with this one. They covered all the important points with a respectful amount of time – not relegating the important adult storylines to the back burner in order to focus on unimportant stuff as they’d done in previous movies. I really want to talk about it here, but I don’t want to ruin anything for those who aren’t as obsessed with it as I am & are waiting to see it.

I am beyond pleased that they finally gave Snape the focus he deserved. So many of the movies were just giving him moments of sneering disdain or a little bit of threatening comic relief. Plus, they often presented him as a sort of impotent gasbag which, I think, really strips the character of any believability when it comes to accepting that he really has the strength & bravery to do what he did. I mean, would the same person who lied to Voldemort be all flustered & discombobulated by Lupin? I don’t think so. It always drove me nuts to see Snape stutter & stammer and look stupid when dealing with Lupin & Sirius when I just knew that he was doing all this double-agent stuff with Voldemort and not getting caught. Someone who was that good in that dangerous of a situation wouldn’t have been like that around those two.

It was so good to see Alan Rickman finally get to play all the emotional subtext that’s been under his character’s robes. To see that Snape wasn’t just a hateful git. That he was not only capable of love, but he was filled with it. That he not only loved Lily so much that he vowed to protect her son (even though he was also James’, who he hated), he grew to love Harry and was rather horrified to discover what Dumbledore knew all along and revealed in the “Snape’s Memories” section. He did care for Harry. It took a while, I think, but he did grow to care about him. The Snape’s memories part of the movie slayed me. I just sobbed, hearing the old lines, seeing the context of them in with the stuff we hadn’t known. Seeing Snape after Lily’s death. And seeing Harry after he pulled his head from the pensieve, realizing that everything he’d ever believed was wrong. Watching his whole world view shift as he also came to terms with what he had to do next. Wow.

The scene in the boathouse was unbelievable. Snape was so together and calm and just “The wand is YOURS, m’lord” and then he slowly realized what was about to happen. Snape realizes that he is about to die and there’s nothing he can do about it. The way Alan Rickman conveys that on his face was just, ‘BAM’. Then to see him slump to the floor and see that horrible snake strike him again and again and again and AGAIN FOR GOD’S SAKE on the other side of the glass with Harry RIGHT THERE. I jumped and flinched and wept. What a horrible way for him to die. Left alone in this stupid boathouse, having been bit by that stupid snake and just left to bleed out on the floor. I was very proud of Harry who, even though he still didn’t know what the truth about Snape was, tried to help him and gathered his memory tears (a little weird) and just was there for him as he died. I wish there had been a little more about the whole “Look at me” bit because I always thought it was wonderful that Snape was able to die while looking into “Lily’s eyes”. Finding a tiny bit of comfort there.

Anyone who knows me at all knows that pretty much anything Alan Rickman does is just the bomb for me. I’ve been waiting so long to see him really able to do something and he nailed it. No, wait, he didn’t nail it – that would imply that he had to rise up to the material. He DEFINED it. He made the material even better. He brought to fruition every raised eyebrow, every smirk, every robe swish, every arch comment from the past 7 movies and made us understand. He loved Lily like whoa. Everything he did after that was for her. There aren’t many actors who could have been that patient through that many movies – being a standout with very little material and sometimes just standing in the background – waiting to see what the finale would bring. THAT is an actor. I will truly, truly miss this character and Alan’s portrayal of him. I’ve always loved him, but he now holds my heart in his hand for what he’s done.

In conclusion, Alan Rickman.

The other thing that made me so sad and made me sit there like a blubbering idiot (a 42 year old woman crying during a Harry Potter movie? Really??) was watching the Battle for Hogwarts. I sat there, watching the Quidditch pitch burn and the bridges explode and the towers come down – seeing shrapnel flying, the paintings running to hide, the Great Hall falling apart – and I just sobbed. It was as if the movie makers were saying, “It’s really, really done, guys. See….we’re destroying the sets and everything” and it hit me in the heart. This has been the longest movie franchise ever and I’ve never been even mildly as interested in any book/movie series as this one. Partly because it spoke to the child in me who still looks for magic in the world. Partly because of my obsessive fondness for Alan Rickman & Jason Isaacs. Partly because it was wonderfully well-written and beautifully made into movies that captured the magic and wonder of the early books, yet weren’t afraid to move into the darker themes that came with the later books. It broke my heart to watch it all come apart. All these things that became part of our worlds – things that we’d never heard of a dozen years ago – were burning, falling, being destroyed in front of us and it HURT. It hurt to say goodbye to Dobby and Moody and Fred and Lupin & Tonks and even Lavender Brown. Seeing Hagrid held with ropes, all dirty and angry and panicked about Harry coming to the forest was horrible. Watching the giants just smash everything – seeing the spiders in the courtyard. Even seeing Lucius completely broken yet trying desperately to cling to any shred of dignity. Trying to still be LUCIUS MALFOY OMG, when he knew he wasn’t and he knew everyone around him knew he wasn’t. I’d be very interested to see how things turned out for him & Narcissa. All of that was really hard. I’ve never been good at endings to begin with. I hate it when people leave or things end and this has been a big part of life. I broke down watching it all disintegrate on screen.

We’re still waiting on the kitchen to be done. The range & dishwasher were delivered today so will be installed tomorrow, which is the first awesome step to having the house back. I cannot wait.