I Never Thought

“M0000-000m!!!!” Maggie took away my free will!!!!!”

Now there’s a sentence that never even occurred to me, much less expected to hear come out of my kid’s mouth. They have this game where they are in an imaginary battle with each other and each one calls out certain powers. They try to top one another, coming up with the most all-encompassing arsenal that will prevent the opposition from doing any damage to them.

“I have control over free will and I’m immortal and I’m covered in a titanium shield”

“I have mind control and hypnosis power so I can keep you from taking my free will”

“Well, I’m friends with all the animals of the sea and they do my bidding, plus I can create whirlpools that engulf anything”

“And I have bastic bullets  that can rip through anything and will destroy your animal friends, plus my mind control can keep the animals from hurting me”

“You’re shooting bullets through a whirlpool? Bullets can’t stop a whirlpool. That doesn’t even make sense!”

Inevitably, I’m called in to make some sort of ruling over whether somebody can call damage to someone else’s battalion or whether the other’s constitutional rights can be revoked. It’s a lot of pressure, I tell you. To be the ultimate arbiter over this battle of the most super super-powers ever.

No wonder my head hurts.