Friday

Today is Friday. In case you were wonderin’. We went an got Maggie’s hair cut last weekend. They cut off about 4″ and made her a cute layered shag style. She looked totally adorable. Then, on Thursday morning, I wake up to find a big wad of her hair in my garbage can. Apparently, she didn’t like the way a portion of her hair was sticking out, so she grabbed the scissors and thinned out the entire left side of her head by about 1/2. She’s now got a big hunk of hair that’s about 2″ long sticking out of her head. I can’t believe she did that. Ruined a perfectly good, brand new haircut. Of course, I couldn’t get TOO mad at her because I did the same thing. When I was in college.

I promised that I’d have a story for y’all today and I do. And it’s a doozy. Just a little bit of exposition first. My hubby, Daddy Unscripted, has had a lot of jobs in his life. A security guard, a cop, a prison guard at both a juvenile prison & a maximum security prison. So the boy knows thievery and felonious behavior. So, he’s doing the weekly grocery shopping at Meijer last Saturday. I was a little concerned because it sure seemed to take him a long, long time. When he got home, he just says, “Good thing you all weren’t with me today”. Which, of course, piques my interest. He tells me the story…. He’s finished shopping and has the cart by the exit when he hears, shouted from behind him, “Move your f*****ng a**, white boy!!!” Which, in Daddy Unscripted language means, “Don’t move and prepare to block & stop”. He turns around and sees a tall man running at him like the Heisman Trophy. His hand is at head level and tucked into his arm like the football in the trophy is an XBox. On instinct, Daddy Unscripted, drops his head to the guy’s chest level and, as the guy smashes into him, he bodychecks him into the fencing. As the guy falls to the ground, the 3 store employees that were chasing him, turn the corner to the exit. Then the guy starts shouting “Excessive force!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and other insane stuff that thieving thieves shout when they’ve been caught in their thievery. Apparently the guy had his girlfriend in the car right outside the store & she saw the whole thing. So she comes charging in shouting more insane “you caught me in my felonious behavior, so let me try to divert attention” stuff. And makes a move to attack Daddy Unscripted, who is now holding the guy on the ground with his forearm in his throat until the cops can come. Thankfully, one of the store employees sees her coming & intercepts her, saying, “Oh, no, you better not EVEN.” Daddy Unscripted holds him there until the cops come and then takes the cop up on the offer to be “Unidentified Good Samaritan” in the police report. I was so incredibly proud of him and so incredibly astounded at the stupidity of these thieves. Not only moronic enough to just snatch an XBox & run out of the store, but then to accuse the Good Samaritan of all sorts of crap. Plus – it was very lucky that it was Daddy Unscripted who was in this guy’s way. What if it had been an old woman? Or a small child? Or Daddy Unscripted with Henry on his shoulders? Somebody could have gotten seriously injured by this jerk. So that’s the story. My hubby’s brave & strong & thwarted a thieving thief. Yay, him!

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