Dear Heavens

I am so. Incredibly. Tired. Henry has decided that sleep is for the weak and I’m paying the price. The past couple of nights, he’s decided that he won’t take his nap at the regular time, but rather fall asleep at 4:00 or so & then is unwakeable until 7 or 7:30. Then he wants to stay up until the butt-crack of dawn. Last night, I put him down in his bed where he screamed. So I moved him to my bed. Where he kicked & scratched me & then tried to fall off the bed. So I moved him to his bed. Where he screamed. (And I would leave him to scream it out, but Steven’s in there too & shouldn’t have to lose sleep when he has school in the morning) So I brought him into my bed. Where he pulled my hair, humped my arm & tried to fall off the bed. So I took him down to Daddy in the playroom where he was doing his homework. Daddy put him down & he crawled into the living room where he pushed his Elmo video into the player & it came on at a deafening level. I went in to tell him NO, it’s time for bed. He says to me, plain as day, “No. No, no no.” and tries to push me away. Okelie dokelie. It’s now after midnight & this kid wants to burn the midnight oil with Elmo. Uh-UH. So I bring him back into my bed where I placed a pillow over his torso (no, not his face. I wasn’t go to suffocate him) so he cannot move. Figuring the only way he’d fall asleep was if there was nothing more interesting to do. And he did. at 1:09 am. Up at 7 for school with a totally exhausted Mommy & Henry. Boy is driving me LOONEY, y’all.

Steven has, out of the blue, developed a new obsession. Crocodiles. It’s been a while since he’s been this singularly obsessed. Everything is crocodiles, books about crocodiles, websites about crocodiles, games about crocodiles, pretending to BE a crocodile. I am absolutely flummoxed. I don’t know where this came from or why. I mean, certainly, crocodiles are all very well & good, but it’s not like we have them in the backyard & he got the idea from watching them frolic. He’s also taken to wanting to pray at dinnertime. However, his idea of prayer is to recite the Pledge of Allegiance, the Pledge to the Christian flag and the Bible pledge they do every morning at school. Not much of a prayer, but makes him happy. Except tonight he tried to get us all to do the “Pledge to the Crocodiles”. Which I had to nix. I am getting a bit sick of hearing about crocs, though. I guess I’ll have to rent some Steve Irwin videos for him.

I’m absolutely giddy with the approach of the Christmas season. And why, do you ask?? Because the approach of the season brings into view the oversized flaccid joy of more underinflated lawn ornaments. Or completely uninflated lawn ornaments – which are even better. Big colorful garbage bags laying haphazardly all over your yard. What could be more festive. Steve jokes that after we move, he’s going to find an inflatable Nativity for our yard. Because nothing represents the solemnity and beauty of the birth of our Lord like an underinflated Jesus flapping obscenely in the wintry chill. Ew.

So I went to Target the week before or something like that. And I got some new books – I’ve been really enjoying reading them. I got 4 books & I’m almost through 3 of them already. The first one was a nonfiction book about sororities called Pledged. I was in a sorority myself at my first college and found it interesting to see how things have changed since the mid-80s. Since I left the school in disgrace after a drug overdose/emergency room visit, I certainly cannot judge any of what I read since I did the same & worse. But it was a bit shocking to read about what’s going on in the Greek systems nowadays. It seems to be quite harsher than it was in my day. Next, I read a chick lit book with a plus-sized main character called The Next Big Thing. Fat girl goes on a reality show to lose weight & impress her overseas, online boyfriend. Hilarity ensues. I ripped through that one in 2 days. Now I’m reading Mr. Darcy’s Daughters, a sequel, of sorts, to Pride & Prejudice. Since I haven’t read the original P&P (I know, it’s a heresy), I cannot say how authentic it is to Jane Austen, but so far I’m enjoying it. I always enjoy continuing a story with characters that I’ve loved. I fell in love with the characters from the BBC P&P with Colin Firth at his Colin Firthiest and have truly enjoyed every variation given.

Also, make sure you catch Tuesday night’s episode of Veronica Mars!! It’s Andrew’s big episode – is Moe the rapist? Is Moe not the rapist? Will Moe seize the heart of our snarky & clever heroine?? Don’t miss it – Andrew says “you’ll have to see it to believe it”. Cool.